- Sure, there are lots of things that men and women CAN both do. I can kill cockroaches (I let the spiders live tho because they are our bug-eating friends). I can change lightbulbs. I can go on vacations by myself, and I can walk alone at night. But that doesn't mean I want to or even feel safe doing so. Every time I get in a taxi alone, I call someone and tell them the licence plate of the driver's car. Everytime I leave my home to go on a bike ride, I take my cell phone which is full of (male) students I could call in case of an accident or emergancy.
When I had a bunch of funiture delievered that needed to be put together--sure I had the ability and smarts enough to put it all together by myself. BUT, I didn't want to Just because I can doesn't mean that I am created for it. I asked a few of my male students to come take care of it for me. They did--AND they ENJOYED doing it. In return, I did what I enjoyed--I took care of their physical hunger and thirst for the afternoon. :)
We are designed differently.
And just because I am able to live alone does not mean I don't still long for and need protecting. It does not mean I still don't long to take care of and help the men in my life. Being a "helper" or "helpmate" doesn't make me less important--it makes me feel good and valued and right.
I work with a group of single women over 50, previously married and no longer married for a series of unhappy reasons, none of them being that these women don't want to be married. It is the consensus that the main difference between living with a man and living without a man, in the post-baby age group, is that you have to change your own light bulbs.
Most women have never had a husband fend off an intruder or rescue them from the path of an oncoming car. It just doesn't happen that often, so they don't miss it.
Women help other women when their life is messed up. If there is a risk of violence any man in his right mind will tell you to call the police or the appropriate authorities instead of trying to handle it himself.
And anyone can assemble furniture. In my house the teenage daughter likes that job. If females can assemble furniture then I think females are created for figuring out how to assemble furniture. Okay, my traditional mom bought tinkertoy for us girls. I can't help it.
Putting the whole baby thing aside, I really wonder what the gender based responsibilities are in a household. In the over 50 crowd, most women will not ask their husband to help with heavy lifting. Having to care for someone who has put their back out is a very difficult task.
I think if you want to live with a man, it really is not useful to pretend you can't do things. I think it is better to be honest and say that some things seem difficult because you are not used to doing it, some things fall within the professional expertise of your spouse or partner, some things are tiresome or distasteful. I think it might be nice to say that you like your partner just "because" instead of having a list like men kill spiders, trace license plates and assemble furniture.
Okay the truth is I have to get back to work. Bye.