For this reason and others, I am a conscientious objector to the complegalitarian blog. However, I feel the need to comment on this most recent post. First, the author, Marilyn asks some good questions.
One commenter responds,
- Yes, symptoms become causes in their own right, but the root causes are nonetheless other.
A person’s personality type (here, OCEAN, the big five personality traits, is more helpful perhaps than Myers-Briggs: watch out for neuroticism and disagreeableness), upbringing, history of being abused by others, family of origin’s history of mental illness and personal history of mental illness, personal choices in terms of substance abuse, self-medication, and patterns of addiction - these things are the root causes of abuse.
- The Myths about Abusers page 23 - 24
1. He was abused as a child.
2.His previous partner abused him.
3.He abuses those he loves the most.
4. He holds in his feelings too much.
5. He has an aggressive personality.
6. He loses control.
7. He is too angry.
8.He is mentally ill.
9. He hates women.
10. He is afraid of intimacy and abandonment.
11. He has low-self-esteem.
12.His boss mistreats him.
13.He has poor skills in communication and conflict resolution.
14. There are as many abusive women as abusive men.
15.His abusiveness is as bad for him as for his partner.
16.He is a victim of racism.
17. He abuses alcohol or drugs.
Thank you, Lundy Bancroft. I will blog soon about some of the causes of abuse.
Bancroft, Lundy. Why Does He Do That? I recommend this as the best book on the topic. It takes no position on any religious viewpoint. It is refreshingly devoid of that kind of comment. Every pastor should own this book.