Here is the concluding paragraph from a post by Psalmist, something to calm me down,
- I am called by God, by my name. I am not my marital status, I am not my sexuality, I am not my father...I am me, God's beloved child. I believe that status is the only one that matters and that it's every child's birthright (whatever the age or other status of that child). I stand for the freedom of every boy and girl, man and woman, to live out that identity in Christ.
Suzanne - I have named you in my acknowledgments - you encourage all of us.
Thanks for the link, Suzanne.
(Lest you think I'm derelict in my responsibilities, posting so late on a Sunday morning, be assured I'm taking a week of vacation!)
Try not to let your discouragements overtake you. The toughest battle of all is the one fought for truth. Those who fight against the truth though they put much effort into it do it from baser places such as fear, selfishness, self promotion, need for control, etc. Their winnings are superficial. The winnings from the fight for truth are for LIFE. Everyone benefits.
Take your breaks and recuperative healing times. But know that so many without voices are eagerly watching and hoping that the truth that frees their souls will win out. And it will. You and yours have won so much good for so many.
May your crown be large so that you can throw it with glee at the feet of our Creator and Savior.
I'm looking at this post and then the next one and I have to tell you that it is almost predictable for me that when the pain and discouragement get very deep and hard to bear... it turns out to be labor pains- it is as if God births into me deeper revelation and conviction.
this post= labor pains
the next post= the fruit of your labor pains
I'll just share with you that I have had labor pains over the last 4 days or so... and I felt very very weak and distraught Maybe it is a case of “when I am weak, then I am strong”. I stood up to him today and I feel very good about it. It is OK to be firm and fight for the dignity of my children.
He took them sledding. I wasn’t there. He called Timothy (7) names “idiot” “stupid” “fool”. It is not clear to me that Timothy did anything to provoke the tirade except cry and Susy (10) said he started crying because his father started in on him.
They come to me to tell me what daddy did. They trust me to protect them, to stand in the gap for them, to stand up against the bullying. I rebuked him loudly in front of all the children who had witnessed the verbal abuse. I want them all to know that it is completely unacceptable, disrespectul, unchristlike behavior and Timothy does not deserve to be treated that way! I prayed loudly (so he could hear it in the other room) and broke the word curses and lies which were spoken over my son and prayed that he would be deeply assured that his Heavenly Father loves, values, and esteems him.
Hubby is thickly self justifying it! Says that “James Dobson would approve of my disciplining my son- I didn’t call him a stupid idiotic fool. I said he was acting like a stupid idiotic fool which is the truth” He said ” I am not ashamed of disciplining my children. I’ll stand up in front of the whole church and tell them proudly about my discipline techniques”
Yeah well. Remember I mentioned my mentor encouraged me when I felt like the pastor is "on hubby's side"? She pointed me to the story of Mordecai and Haman. She said given enough time, the truth will prevail and the one who is doing evil will build his own gallows (thinking all the while that it is for that annoying Mordecai)
I wonder if the pastor will agree with the lies this time?
Thanks for praying for me. I'll pray for you too :)
This all sounds very familiar. It i good that you are not teaching the children to accept this kind of behaviour as normal. I know it is exhausting. I hope you have good friends to spend time with as you can.
I haven't read any of James Dobson for a very long time. I guess there is still the notion that you should toughen kids up or something. How foolish.
Just for the record, I am extremely confident that James Dobson would not be the least bit supportive of my husband's verbally abusive behavior toward our children.
I owe a lot to Dobson and "Focus on the Family" for parenting discipleship. He really shouldn't be lumped with the wacky extremes among Christian parenting "gurus".
My husband is engaging in the logical fallacy of "appeal to authority" which is one of his favorite games- he lines up all his presumed allies who "agree with him" and "support his view". I'm past being manipulated by those lies.
Thanks for clarifying. The scenario you describe is very common and children do survive it. And, in spite of everything, two parents are a great benefit. My children continue to spend time with their dad.
I would imagine that- as a school teacher- you see the impact of all sorts of parenting upon children. My son Timothy was in trouble a great deal in first grade because he was bullying other children. He is very sensitive and was hurt a great deal by how his father bullies him... but he is doing better since I am standing up to it more effectively. He is seeing that it is not his fault, it is his father's issue. He prays every single night that he will "be a good boy", and he is.
Grudem does some of the same behavior as my (and your ex?) husband, doesn't he? His quotes are "appeal to authority" but he warps and twists what the authority really said or intended. The same analogy that my mentor spoke about my marriage applies with this false teaching. Give him enough rope and he will hang himself- figuratively speaking of course and for his own ultimate good. :p
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