Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Abusive Mentality:1

I feel that this topic is so serious and so severely misunderstood that I am going to blog pieces of Lundy Bancroft's book for a bit. Here are a list of realities about abusers,

1. He is controlling.
2. He feels entitled.
3. He twists things into their opposites.
4. He disrespects his partner and feels that he is superior to her.
5. He confuses love and abuse.
6. He is manipulative.
7. He strives to have a good public image.
8. He feels justified.
9. Abusers deny and minimize their abuse.
10. Abusers are possessive.

I'll get into the details later. I firmly believe that the teaching that the husband has more authority than the wife is a condition in which abuse thrives. This does not mean that men who are not exposed to this teaching in church cannot find it somewhere else. This does not mean that women cannot be abusive. This means, simply put, the notion that one person has more authority than the other is a reality of abuse.

I feel that this is a safety issue, so I am going to comment on compegal.


Anonymous said...

Hm. Interesting. I'm ordering that book right now. Looks like the kind of resource that I need.

Anonymous said...

It is an excellent book. He also explains the different types of abusers and does it well, much better than the pit bull/cobra junk that has been out there.

he also has a list of signs of an abuser, which I have posted on our website for others to see and use.

Keep up the great stuff, Suzanne.
as always, many blessings as you fight the good fight.

dcljoy said...

thanks Suzanne ... this is something many in the Church refuse to do anything about .... and to make things worse, they are now grounding their arguments in the eternal subordination of the Son. Any resources you have re the last would be appreciated.