First let me explain. Eve was called a "help" an 'ezer in Hebrew, and βοηθος, boethos, in Greek. The early church used the Greek scriptures. That is what they knew.
Phoebe was called a πρστατις, prostatis, for Paul, a "great help" a "benefactor" or "patron." The male form of this word is translated as "leader" or "guardian" but it is the same word.
These two words βοηθος and πρστατης are used as titles for Christ alongside "saviour" and "high priest." Here is how the words were used in 1 Clement 36:1.
- Αυτη η οδος, αγαπητοι, εν η ευρομεν το σωτεριον ημων, Ιησουν Χρστον, τον αρχιερεα των προσφορων ημων, τον προστατην και βοηθον της ασθενειας ημων.
This is the way, beloved, in which we found our salvation; even Jesus Christ, the high priest of our oblations, the champion and defender of our weakness. tr. Charles Hoole 1885
Now, if we think back to the previous post, we can see that submission is mutual. However, it looks different for each person. The stronger does not neglect the weak, and the weak respects the strong. So, one might deduce that man is the strong one, and woman is the weak one. The woman is to respect the man, and the man must not neglect the woman.
But, it is perhaps quite the opposite. The woman is guardian and defender, she must not neglect the man, and the man must respect her. However, the titles for Christ include both "salvation" and "high priest; " and "guardian" and "defender." There is no example here of a strong male role and a weak female role, but both male and female roles are applied equally to Christ as an indication of how he is strong for us. The submission then, is to give each other out of whatever our strength is, whatever strength God has given us. We must not neglect the weaker.
If woman has been given greater strength in any area, her submission is to help her partner out of her strength. If she is weaker in some way, then she is to respect her partner in that he submits to her by giving out of his strength. And it is likewise for the man.
At the time that the scriptures were written, it was assumed that women were in a weaker position in several ways. They were physically weaker and still are. But in that era, they had fewer civil, legal and financial rights. Their role was to respect their husband who submitted to them by caring for and providing for them.
However, those women in the scriptures who were strong in resources, showed their submission by helping others out of their resources. There was no sense that they had to just do as they were asked. It was their money, they made the decisions that had to be made. Surely, the man or woman who loves will want to be strong for their partner.
I can only say that the lesson is that we not neglect each other, that we respect each other. This is mutual submission.