I believe that the vow for a wife to obey her husband should be made illegal, as slavery was made illegal. This is just plain stomach-churning evil. Here are some excerpts from a set of Christian marriage vows.
- Male: "Always will I perform my headship over you even as Christ does over me, knowing that His Lordship is one of the holiest desires for my life."
Female: "loving you, obeying you, caring for you and ever seeking to please you."
Male: I promise to love, guide, and protect you
Female: I will love, serve, and obey you
Male: I promise to guide and protect you
Female: I promise my faithfulness, to follow you
Male: to provide for your needs through His enablement, and to lead you as He leads me,
Female: I promise my faithfulness, to follow your leading submissively, loving you and serving you
And so on. Where did the servant-leader go? The relationship once was described as submissive follower and servant-leader. Now it is simply obedient servant and master.
Okay, I may have given the impression that I am a Christian. Now, I will have to qualify this. I am not "this kind of" Christian.
Can Christianity be redeemed from these terrible teachings of bondage?
Here is Paula's take on this,
- Of the twelve they list, nos. 1,2,4,5, and 12 have expressly stated the husband’s alleged “headship over” his wife. They leave nothing to the imagination as to what they think “head” means, combining it with “over”, and that the wife is to “obey” her husband (never him obeying her). Especially repulsive is no. 12. For the man it says “I will look to Christ as Head of our home as I have looked to Him as Head of the Church.”, but for the woman it says “I will look to you as head of our home as I have looked to Christ as Head of the Church.”
Sorry, bible.org, but that makes the husband a blasphemer (taking the place of Christ in the life of another person) and the wife an idolater (looking to a man instead of Christ). This abominable trend in the churches has infected influential leaders in the Christian community, and it’s spreading rapidly. Those men love to “keep their place” and to be “head over” someone, especially women. We women are expected to spend our lives stroking their delicate egos, making them little gods over us, and believing it’s God’s divine order.
I pray that bible.org will “redesign” more than their website, and “rethink” their acceptance and promotion of Spiritual Formation. And those wedding vows don’t need just a redesign, they need to be thrown out. They can practice idolatry, blasphemy, and the spiritual adultery of Spiritual Formation, but they can’t make us join them.
“Come out of her, my people, so you will not take part in her sins and so you will not receive her plagues” (Rev. 18:4, NET).