Thursday, July 10, 2008

Responses to Ware

I have been following responses to Ware's sermon in a few forums and this one stuck out.
    I agree with part of what the author wrote, but disagree with a whole lot more of it. Domestic abuse has been a problem in this WORLD for a long time. The feminist movement that actually began in the late 40's (historically) was a reaction from women to men coming home from WWII and expecting the women, who kept this country moving during the war, to go home and make babies. Having had a taste of financial freedom, the woman as a group screamed, "NO WAY!" The movement intensified in the 50's, and when the birth control pill came out in the 60's and separated sexual activity and procreation, we then had the feminist movement we know today.

    If families patterned their lives scripturally, men would love their wives as Christ loves the church, and women would have NO PROBLEM with submitting to a man who loves them that way. Children would obey their parents, because the parents would be doing what is right for the child. Parents who are submitted to the Lord won't be punishing or inconsistently disciplining their children out of frustration and anger, rather than simply because the child needs correction. But the reason marriage does not work the way God intended it to is that WE AS PEOPLE DO NOT OBEY GOD!

    The only reason there is a seeming explosion in domestic violence has NOTHING to do with the feminist movement but it has everything to do with media coverage. It has always been there. Also there is the fact that, until the mid 70's, domestic violence was considered a "family matter" and not a matter of law. I can testify to that. My father put me in the hospital 17 times from the time I was 5 until I was 16 years old It was always considered a "family matter". I had no protection under the law. Today, there is protection for both the spouses (men and women are victims of domestic violence) and the children of abuse. But violence happens because people are not under the control of God. "Each man did what was right in their own eyes" (Judges 17:6 and 21:25)
Abuse is not a new problem. And, since I work in a school I am fully aware that abuse is not a male on female problem. It is a human problem. One way of helping people get out of abusive settings is to eliminate the functional subordination in the home of one adult to the other. The non-abusing parent needs full power to remove the children from the abusing parent.

I know, people don't like to talk about these things.


Matthew Celestine said...

I would really like to see Evangelicals on the Complementarian and Traditionalist side of the debate facing up to and engaging with the issue of domestic violence.

Lin said...

the author makes some very good points about abuse not being a new problem. It is just that it started getting media attention as media grew.

the author gets some things wrong, too. As a student of history, he gets the aftermath of WW2 wrong.

Most women were happy to come home and raise a family. What they were NOT happy with was the social structure returning to pre-WW2 thinking on women. They had proved themselves quite competent but now they were expected to still be thought of as 'inferior' as most of the societal structures dictated. Such as women could not open bank accounts without their husbands signature. There are many such examples.

It wasn't really a question of financial freedom. It was a question of being treated equally as a partner in marriage. After all, the war could not have been won without their efforts here building planes, ships, etc.

Most of these women were thrilled to get on with building families in a peacetime environment. What they wern't willing to accept was that they could not cash a check at the bank without a husband's signature. It was the social structure that did not change to accomodate a changing society.

These women, for the most part, were not bra burners. They were typical housewives who had worked through the war for freedom and were not wondering why they were not accorded basic equality.

Suzanne McCarthy said...

Great points, Lin, and I agree with them. I took the above response as his personal viewpoint and I appreciated that he expressed this.

I do want to contribute the thoughts of men on these issues.

Anonymous said...

What's interesting in this debate is that research shows there is more abuse in households that hold a complementarian view than those that hold an egalitarian view. But, those who are truly God followers and attend church weekly have a lower rate of abuse than those who don't attend weekly. Yet, there is still abuse... there is never a zero rate in any Christian denoimination or theology... so what's the real issue? Whether there is a true and right relationship with Christ and a follower of His ways.

Lin said...

that is right, kate. Why do they assume they are always talking to Born Again men?

Anonymous said...

because if a man says it it must be true??? Also, keep in mind the thread about working out our salvation. Often the abusive man, because he is charming and manipulative, will help the church, volunteer for tasks, and so he MUST be born again, right? Evidence of his salvation is working around the church.... NOT